The following is a collection of actual excuse notes from parents, including the spelling, from the Office of Educational Assessment at the University of Washington.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off of his face.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.